Fedor P.

I was 14 when I moved to The Domik in 2015.

I am nearly blind since I was born, I distinguish only between light and shade. I have other congenital malformations. Can you imagine how difficult it is for me to perceive this world and my place in it?

And imagine what it was like for me stay at an orphanage for disabled children. A huge room for 25 people filled with beds. Almost all the time someone’s crying. A radio was constantly playing in the room, because the nurses were bored without it, because they couldn’t talk to us — the disabled children. This noise was driving me mad…

But the worst thing for me was that I could be grabbed and carried somewhere any moment. No one ever warned me what was going to happen: haircuts, hygiene or medical procedures, or anything else unknown and probably unpleasant. I think anyone would be uncomfortable if captured and carried somewhere without saying a word, but an average person would at least see who were carrying him/her and where, and I am deprived of even this opportunity to orient at what is happening.

I am very grateful to adults in our The Domik for not doing anything without warning me! Knowing how hard it is for me to agree to explore an unknown space or master new skills, they help me with music that I love very much: pick up a song and sing it before we start a frightening undertaking. This ritual allows me to navigate in the process and understand what is going to happen at the moment. Thanks to this approach, I even learned to brush my teeth, although I completely refused to open my mouth before, because it was terribly scary when you didn’t understand why the brush bristles would touch your lips and teeth.

At the moment my life became predictable, I stopped being afraid, and I wanted to try and learn new things: slowly but patiently I learn to get out of bed, to get dressed, to walk and eat without assistance. I try to feel the time, anticipate events and recognize significant others.

But the most incomprehensible discovery is the space I get into every summer. It has absolutely no walls, but is filled with gentle sun heat, prickly pine roughness, rain scent and birdsongs…

Now I know that the world around me is bright and amazing. And I’m not a stranger to it.